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1. Planning Renovations Any project will be more successful, given well-defined goals. In every household project, the following three points can be applied: FORM: What do you want it to look like? FUNCTION: What do you want it to do for you? COMPATIBILITY: What factors exist that might limit what you can do, and will the finished product look good on your house? Once you've completed this part of your homework, it's time to decide if you'll built it yourself, hire a contractor, or be your own contractor and perhaps sub-contract some of the work. Sub-contracting may sometimes seem to over-complicate things and even look wasteful, but just remember - some jobs can look deceivingly simple until you actual get into the nitty-gritty of them. A general contractor's job is to co-ordinate and orchestrate the whole schmozzle to completion. 2. Finding A Contractor My card...The process of finding a good contractor is essentially the same, whether you decide to hire a general contractor, or one or more sub-contractors. The best reference for a contractor is word of mouth from a satisfied client. If you don't know anyone who has had renovations or repairs done in the area you need, look for work trucks or signs in your neighborhood. Knock on doors, and ask the homeowners if they are satisfied with the work being done. Once you contact a contractor, ask for references, and follow through by calling their previous clients with a set of questions that will give you the information you are looking for. The following are samples of questions that could be asked of any reference: 1. Did the job come in at the quoted price? 2. Did the job come in on time? 3. Was the work site left clean each day? 4. Was the quality of the workmanship satisfactory? 5. Was the quality of the materials used satisfactory? It is always recommended that you talk to more than one company, so that you have a basis for comparison. Listen to their technical information, and note their customer relation skills. If the contractor doesn't do a very good job of communicating with you before you hire him or her, there may be a higher likelihood of miscommunications during the work. Sometimes the best companies will be very busy and you will have to wait for their services. Other times, good companies may have time slots between large projects that smaller jobs can fit into. Ask what the company's schedule has been like for the past 6 months to a year. Reputable companies are usually busy all year round in any economic situation. 3. The Estimate, or Quote Meeting the Contractors Remember that the contractor you choose could be spending a lot of time in your home, so look for someone you feel at ease with. You should meet individually with each potential contractor. Be prepared to discuss products and designs; know what you want and how much you can spend. Take note if the contractors are on time, if they listen and answer questions, willingly give information about their company and their customers; and if they seem to have any aversion to your ideas. The Estimate This is where you'll likely make your choice of contractor. Each potential contractor will present a proposal, including design and cost information. Review the estimates, ensuring that they accurately relfect your wishes, and make comments and/or any changes that are required. How Are Jobs Estimated? Work that involves structural changes to the home, custom designs, or enlargement of some of the mechanical systems is typically quoted by the job. It can be very difficult for a contractor to know exactly how much time an intricate custom job will take, particulary if a number of trades are required, and the different parts of the job are interdependent. Get it in writing!Simpler, straightforward jobs are often quoted by the square foot. Examples are laying sod, painting, roofing, drywall or refinishing floors. The quoted price will typically be set to include everything (ie. labour, materials, travel, etc.). Smaller jobs may also be quoted buy the hour, and if the job is fairly routine, such as installing addtional electrical outlets or drywalling, the figures are typically in line. In this situation you will pay the tradesperson for time, plus the cost of the materials used in the project. The Final Design and Quote If you have a contractor with good references and the estimate looks good, you now need to get a firm quote, including final designs. The design should include detailed specifications for the work and the materials to be used. (Another option is to have an architect or designer produce the plans and ask the contractors to bid on the job, based on these plans.) Make sure the final specs are accurate and reflect your wishes, and make your final comments and changes. After you accept the final quote, the cost of further changes will likely be added to the job. Ask how long the stages of the work will take, so that you can monitor progress. 4. The Paperwork Cash is King, however... ... take care, lest the cash deal of the century turn into the mistake of a lifetime! One reason for cash payment is the avoidance of paperwork and taxes. Taxes and other legalities aside, the absence of contracts and permits can be extremely risky. Ooh, I love to save money!Cash contractors often don't pay Workers' Compensation fees, and you could be held legally responsible for any worker injured on your property. If the contractor gives you the product warranty cards, you'll be covered for defective materials provided they were properly installed, but don't expect good follow-up service on a cash deal. You would also have difficulty supporting any legal actions without any paperwork. The overall quality of a project may be compromised in the absence of paperwork, and cash paid in advance (rather than by cheque) will be all but impossible to retrieve if things go sour. Building, plumbing and electrical codes may require that all or parts of your project be performed by licensed tradespeople, and sometimes licenses are required to obtain the permits. If the tradespeople aren't licensed, the contractor probably isn't insured. And if your contractor isn't insured, then depending on the nature of the job, neither is your house while he works on it. The Contract Agreements in writing are less vulnerable to miscommunications, than are verbal ones, and far easier to enforce. Some of the points included in a good contract are: 1. Full job description, including all aspects of the work; demolition, renovation, reconstruction and finishing. 2. Material specifications, including type, model, number, color, and size where applicable, and who's supplying what. 3. Start and finish dates. 4. Payment schedule; 40/40/20 is generally acceptable. 5. Permits, and who's responsible for obtaining them. 6. Clean-up and trash removal. 7. On site behaviour. 8. Change order clause: Have any changes to the original job specifications in writing with a requirement that you "sign off" any change before the work is performed. 9. Arbitration: Aree how disagreements will be handled before the work begins. 10. Contractor's insurer and policy number. 5. The Work MORE POWER! Problem Avoidance: If you've carefully chosen your contractor, and made adequate preparations (including making the site ready for the trades people and workers), this part should be easy! The actual work should closely follow what was written into the contract, however you still need to monitor the ongoing project, and in some cases you'll be required to make additional decisions. There are often unforseen difficulties, or you may simply wish to ask for changes as the work proceeds. Site Preparation: Remove furniture and stored articles from the work area, and cover carpets and other items that may not be moveable. It is in your own best interest to make arrangements for storage, clean-up and refuse areas convenient to the work area. Project Coordination: Effective communication is the greatest secret to successfully completing any project. Maintain regular contact with your contractor(s) so that the unexpected can be dealt with expediently. Hidden Conditions: A thorough inspection performed in conjuction with estimation should preclude any major changes, however there are structural and mechanical conditions initially hidden from view, which even the most experienced renovator may not be able to predict. Be prepared to negotiate changes for "hidden conditions". What to do if a problem develops: 1. Bring all problems, perceived and real, to the attention of your contractor(s). 2. Is it major or minor? If minor, and the contractor is present at the time, discuss it and negotiate a resolution. If it's minor, and/or looks like it can wait, start a list of minor observations that you can bring to his or her attention when appropriate. 3. Major problems should be dealt with immediately. If your contractor is not present at the time, make every effort to contact him or her as soon as possible. This may avert furtherance of the problem. 4. Given that your contractor responds satisfactorily, carry on. If not, try again and if necessary, write a letter. If you still don't get satisfaction, look to a third party such as the Ontario Renovators Council or the Ontario Home Builders Association. These agencies should be approached only if you are certain that a resolution cannot be achieved with the contractor. Legal counsel should be an absolute last resort. There's no use making a mountain out of a molehill, and thereby delaying succesful completion of the project. THE BOTTOM LINE: careful contractor selection + a good contract = successful job penis enlagement fact do penis elargement pills work pnis enlargement picture vimax penis enlargement surgery photo compare penis enhancement pills herbal penile enlargement herbal natural penis enlarement does penis enargement work

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Maintaining a normal testosterone level is essential to maintaining an overall sense of fitness and happiness. Testosterone is a male steroid hormone synthesized in the testes and adrenal glands. It is responsible for the normal growth of male sex and reproductive organs as well as the development of secondary male sex characteristics including musculature, bone mass, hair patterns, laryngeal enlargement and vocal chord thickening. Normal testosterone level in the bloodstream is between 350 and 1230 nanograms per deciliter. Insufficient hormone production causes low sex drive, constant tiredness, depression and loss of strength. Although testosterone is considered as a male hormone, females also need a small quantity of it to retain the strength of muscle and bone. The hormone production in females is about one-tenth the total in males. Testosterone production is rapid in teenage years. When a person reaches middle age, however, hormone levels begin to drop by about one percent each year. By the time the man reaches his 70's and 80's, the high rate of testosterone decreasing causes the risk of obesity, brittle bones, muscle loss and impotence. Very low levels may also increase the risk of dying from a heart attack. There are also many other factors that decrease the level of testosterone. These include acute and chronic emotional stress, physical inactivity, use of anabolic steroids, excessive use of alcohol, prescription or recreational medication and certain diseases. A person can improve his hormonal level by eliminating these factors, improving diet, beginning or modifying exercise programs and restoring nutritional diet. Different treatment options are also available to treat lower testosterone levels in men. The common treatments include testosterone injections, patches, gels and pills. To diagnose testosterone levels, simple blood tests and saliva self-tests are used. Many products including herbal supplements and vitamin products that claim to boost hormone levels are available in the market. According to the FDA (food and drug administration), more than four million men experience low testosterone levels. Around 95% of them fail to seek any treatment, often because they just take the sign as a normal part of getting older. penis elargement without pills free penis enlargment technique pennis enlargement pills product sex vigrx best penis enlarement pills free pnis enlargement tip penile enlargement technique manual penis elargement exercise prosolution

Whether at work or under the cover, men are under constant pressure to perform. Unfortunately, both men and women can place too much importance on this, and search out the fastest, easiest answers. Fortunately there's an alternative. By arming ourselves with information on the newest natural options, we can choose the best treatment for our individual needs. Viagra's fishy replacement? By now if you've heard of Bob Dole you've heard of Viagra. But have you heard of Irukandji? This soft and toxic jellyfish may soon be giving Viagra, and men everywhere, a very hard time. A sting from Irukandji causes intense pain in the limbs, cramps, vomiting, difficulty breathing, anxiety, and sometimes cardiac and lung problems. However, it also causes prolonged erection. Currently, this is a lousy trade off. Realizing this, Australian researcher Lisa Gershwin is attempting to separate the erection-causing feature. But don't be tossing your little blue pills just yet. More Irukandji need to be studied before an impotency medication can be manufactured. X-rated chewing gum Those wanting to build stronger sperm now have more options than loose boxers and cool temperatures. A simple green African plant may boost the power of the troops down under. Call it a miracle. Call it the khat plant. Lab tests at London's King College have found that sperm treated with cathine, a chemical in khat, became fertile faster and stayed that way longer. Though so far the studies are only on mice and rabbits, early human tests suggest a similar result. But before you get too excited, it's worthwhile knowing that potency through khat's cathine is currently the domain of researchers. Why? Munching on khat has potentially dangerous side effects like delusions and elevated pulse and blood pressure. Due to this, the current focus is on finding the right cathine concentration, and making sure it's safe for more than mice. Just breathe Occasional impotence is common and often caused by anxiety. Long term failure to function, though, is another matter. According to the UK's Sexual Dysfunction Association: "Until about 20 years ago, erectile dysfunction was considered to be caused almost entirely by psychological factors but we now know that physical conditions are present in about 75% of male sufferers." So unless you're very young or very stressed, impotence is probably not in your head. However, it may be in your glans. The glans, or head of the penis, needs a strong and constant flow of blood to stay stiff. This requires effective circulation. In short, if your blood isn't moving neither will your penis. Speedier circulation can be gained through a healthy diet and aerobic exercise. Deep breathing is another way to circulate. By bringing more blood to the lungs, more blood goes to the heart. This is a sweat-free way to strengthen both blood flow and phallus. P.C. isn't just politically correct Finding and working the PC, or pubococcygeus muscle, is a sure way to satisfy you and your partner. If you've ever had to stop in mid-stream while urinating, you've already exercised it. This muscle has another use. Training it develops sexual power. Authors of The Multi-Orgasmic Man; Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava, state that training this muscle helps "strengthen your erections, intensify your orgasms, and separate your orgasms from ejaculation." To pump this muscle up, first locate it. Most men feel this muscle at their perineum, behind the testicles and ahead of the anus. Now inhale and focus on the prostate, perineum and anus. Next exhale and squeeze the muscle around your anus and prostate. Then release and relax. According to The Multi-Orgasmic Man, this exercise should be repeated 9 to 36 times. Performance plus Though it often takes center stage, the penis an overrated performer. Satisfying a woman also involves foreplay and sensitivity to her needs. No matter how potent you are, if these two things aren't also considered your partner will be looking at her watch rather than into your eyes. natural penis enlagement and lengthening penile enlargment exercise free penile enlargement penis elargement surgery vimax penis enlargement device pnis enlargement cream get vigrx penis elargement surgery photo prosolution

Same sex relationships aside, which have their own sources of wonder, the relationship between a man and a woman is so intriguing and amazing because we understand so little about the opposite sex. A man hears about another man's penis being cut off and goes into paroxysms of distress in empathy for the victim. Upon hearing the same news, most women simply wince but have no visceral reaction. A woman hears about a rape and reaches out to the victim in pain and empathy. Even the most non-violent and liberal male has a tendency to think that it's no big deal: "Well, it's not like she was killed or anything." The divide is that our experiences differ, our anatomies and our relationship with our physical attributes differ, and our perceptions of our interactions with the world differ. In a sexual sense, men give and women receive. In traditional societies, men act and women accept. Despite the rise of feminism and the cultural equality of women, many physiological disparities remain. The strangeness of each other's physical makeup is a significant portion of the tension aroused in a male-female relationship. The alien nature of the partner's anatomy is an unending source of fascination and delight. Men can spend hours looking at their mate, or watching pornographic movies, in a total obsession with female attributes: breasts, vagina, clitoris, anus, and labia. A woman sees such body parts as something best hidden, despite the delight they may bring when aroused. Women are in awe of a man's ability to wax and wane as his levels of desire change. A woman can seduce a man but rape is virtually impossible. A woman worries about the size of her breasts whereas men accept a variety of sizes and shapes, all equally appealing. A man worries about the size of his penis whereas a woman is less concerned with size than how the appendage is used. For two such different creatures to enter a permanent fulfilling relationship, a great deal of exploration is required, both in terms of understanding the other as well as understanding the self. Mutual exploration can become a vessel that explodes the level of intimacy enjoyed. It starts with communication - the discussion of oneself and what is arousing on a personal level. Such an exchange of personal turn-ons can then evolve into the identification of what new techniques, positions, or approaches may be mutually exciting. Each partner may have very different ideas of what they would like to try. In an atmosphere of trust and devotion, almost anything can be valuably experienced once. Try to work out a loose schedule that allows each partner to implement a new technique once in a while. Afterwards, a discussion of whether the new activity was satisfactory can ensue and the partners can decide whether to eliminate it, use it as an occasional change of pace, or incorporate it as part of their standard routine. The key is to mutually accept the exploration, agree to honest feedback about its utility, and establish a standard of equality in the partners taking turns in suggesting new techniques with an acceptance by the other of implementation on a trial basis. Because of the uniqueness of our physical attributes, what works for one may be counterproductive for the other. Just the exploration of new techniques, in itself, forces the partners to focus on their sexual activity and can generate a more intense intimacy because of that new awareness and concentration on the act of making love. do penis enlargment pills work elargement free penis pills sample penis enlargement excersizes penis enlagement cream vimax penis enlargement pump penis enlagement pill magna rx pnis enlargement testimonials free penis enlarement prosolution

22 March, l968 As it turned out, Johnny would visit Jill’s room off and on during the following weeks. And that strange woman that left the Belmont’s room brought along another woman, and on occasion, he’d catch her on her way down the steps and invite her into his room, although she’d had preferred ‘Jill,’ so she said. Tasma was not aware of most of this, but a little. Also, she had received at this time several letters from home by her parents, in particular her father, but she did not respond back. She was not certain what to say, she loved them, and Jill assured them she was fine, but it was too stressful for her to talk or write them. She did have a profound desire to please her father, and wishful thinking to please her mother, but it seemed she needed to learn how to please herself first, and to Jill, she did not blame them for anything, not anymore anyway. And had she started a communicational dialogue, they may have persuaded her to return, the one thing she did not want at this time. —Jill was in the kitchen—the ironing board was pulled out from an inner-cabinet built into the wall, a wall-unite if you will, it was kept snugly in, in which there was a door attached to it; Jill was ironing Tommy and Johnny’s cloths, another lover circle had stared. Both were arranged in separate piles. Mrs. Belmont was sitting at the table talking seriously to her; it was most unusual thought Tasma, for seldom did she see Mrs. Belmont other than at the bar talking to Jill. As Tasma neared them to join them, the subject—whatever it was—changed, and what appeared on Mrs. Belmont’s face was an un-cheerful smile, not unusual, but quite sudden, and it was apparent. Consequently, feeling a little awkward she left the kitchen to work on her diary-novel (some poems), in the living room in her usual spot; in effect, she could overhear bits and pieces now of their conversation. It didn’t occur to her to get up and leave, rather the opposite; she actually pretended to be busy writing and was simply drawing a picture undiscernibly. “It’s been going on for a while mom, I didn’t think it was, I mean it would end up like this.” “Get rid of him, or all of them.” “No, no, I don’t think Johnny will go so easy. He likes me, and thinks he can have me, and he has me of course.” “What about Tommy?” “I like him, I like him a lot, but that’s the problem, I don’t love him, I just like him.” “He’s what you need though. He’s more anchored.” [With scorn] “What the hell does anchored mean!” said Jill. “Ok, ok, I could have used a better term, Tommy likes to work and go to school, he’ll be somebody someday.” “Tommy doesn’t pay you a dime; Johnny does and Johnny works hard.” “Yes, he works hard all right, hard at drinking, screwing you and god knows who else—smoking that weed.” “So Tommy was screwing me and working.” “You’re going to lose him to that cousin of yours if you don’t hang on to him.” “Tasma,” she looked at Tasma reading, “you got to be kidding, she’s as naïve as a sparrow.” “So you say: does a pineapple come from a pine tree?” “No,” said Jill apprehensive, “now what does that mean?” “She’s not the little girl she was three, four months ago, or is it five or more? She has a good shape, and pretty face, and if Tommy can’t see it, I can. And so can a lot of men at the bar. Anyhow, Tasma is not the issue, Johnny and Tommy are.” (A long pause came, then with a cracking voice, and an almost whisper, she leaned over to her mother, and Tasma leaned over the arm of her chair): “I think I’m pregnant…” “Ay caramba,” she said in a sigh that slurred all the way to Tasma’s ears, “…now what?” “It’s Johnny’s, not Tommy’s, Tommy uses a rubber, and Johnny thinks it is not manly to do so.” It was momentarily hard for Jill to look her mother in the face; she was at this time, pacing the floor in a small circle as her mother followed her with her eyes. “Listen Jill, Johnny’s drinking with all the gang members at the bar, and he’s gambling, it’s just a matter of time before he gets in trouble with them.” (Some of the gang members had motorcycles, others cars, it was somewhat an unofficial bunch of criminals, in that they were but twenty of them that hung out at a number of bars). 23 Shan’t be a Minute Tasma found herself walking upstairs to her room, it was quieter in the kitchen, and figured, she had heard enough, a voice said, “Where are you going?” it was Jill, polite but to the point. “Shan’t be a moment,” was her answer. She wanted to tuck away her diary-novel, she had written some exposing things in it. And so she tucked away, under her pillow, as if it was safe, and her place was off limits to others, which in presumption it seemed to be. For the most part, she did not want to leave it laying about for someone to pick up accidentally. Life had seemed uncomplicated she thought, and now with Jill’s mother it seemed somewhat speculative, if not downright disjointed. It had now crossed her mind Tommy would find out the secret, the secret being Johnny’s behavior and her being pregnant, or so she said she was, and ‘I know about it,’ she felt as if she was a betrayer, be it to Jill or Tommy, or even Johnny. Down the stairway, into the living room she went. She looked outside through the bay-window and there was Mrs. Alice Whitehead getting into the car, she looked at Tasma, Tasma waved at her, she was a nice old lady, and it always seemed to her she had concern on her face for her. As she turned around looking towards the kitchen she noticed Mrs. Belmont sorting out bills: ‘I suppose she’s done talking to Jill now,’ was her thinking. “I talked to your mother a few days ago Tasma, she’s doing well and I told her likewise, you were doing well.” Tasma simply made a polite gesture, no verbal adjectives. “I want to do something today, a surprise, come with me,” asked Tasma, for some odd reason something had popped into her head. “What, may I ask, is on that devious mind of yours?” laughed Jill. —Tasma and Jill were gone for several hours, and arrived back home at about 6:00 PM. Johnny and Tommy were sitting in the living room watching TV. As they both walked into the house, both the boys were somewhat taken back a bit at Tasma’s appearance—if not down right, star-struck. Her long reddish hair was cut to where it reached only the nape of her neck. And she was wearing more makeup than she had before, the result: she looked a little fresher and less school-girlish, than before. Thought Tommy, ‘…before she seemed more delicate and fragile..,’ as he glanced at the poise she displayed as she smiled and stood in the middle of the room awaiting the verdict of the two young throbbing hearts, the heart breakers themselves. Johnny noticed her slender bones, and her nicely shaped neck was more defined (front and back). Tommy for some reason noticed her neatly-set breasts, small as they were—just above her small waist they were a hand full no more. Yet her slyness somewhat removed, still left her with a harmless effect. Her nervousness was repressed for the most part. Along with all that, with all the money she had saved up, she also purchased some bath salts, talcum powder and a small mirror, which she duplicated for Jill as a gift for allowing her to stay. She had spent her $100-dollars she had saved. For some odd reason, Tasma had glanced back into the kitchen, expecting to see Mrs. Belmont, but of course was not surprised when she was not there, she usually would go to the bar around this time, either she had missed her, or she was in her room preparing to go. The boys looked at one another in jest, and laughed. Said Johnny with his normal side joking way, “So now you’ve grown up, welcome to the real world kid, looks like you’re willing to join us.” Tasma knew Johnny’s ways and knew that was better left alone. “It makes you feel good,” commented Jill; meaning spending money on oneself for preservation purposes, or simply for a change in one’s life. But there was concern in Jill’s unseen eyes, in her cerebellum. She was no psychologist, like Skinner or Pavlov with his salivating dogs (who worked on association), but the boys were kind of salivating, restlessly slobbering might be a better way of putting it, if not downright uneasy, with this new Tasma look. Everyone had gone to bed now, it was Jill’s turn to sit downstairs in the sofa-chair for once, wondering, thinking, not sure of her next move. ‘I just don’t get it,’ she asked herself, ‘why am I so attracted to Johnny, and going with Tommy? Tasma wouldn’t have the answer even if I asked her, nor mom, facts are facts, feelings are feelings, I don’t sense they are neither right or wrong, they just are. Johnny makes love as if he was a mad man and seems almost barbaric, and I think of him when I make love to Tommy—it’s just unthinkable. I wonder how Tommy’s new book will turn out. Can you love two people at once, at one time? A good question; I think I do, or maybe it is lust, how do I know, I’m just…(pause) will be nineteen in a month. Mom said: love is a choice. I say love is a feeling. I wonder what Tasma would say. I know Tommy feels love through his penis, like Johnny, all men do, kind of, sort of—most of the time; but Tommy is more willing to be dedicated, I think. I have learned men are attracted by looking, but I like touch.’ On her way to her bedroom, she stopped at Tasma’s room, knocked lightly, “Can I come in just for a moment?” she asked. “Why sure you can,” answered Tasma with a thoughtful voice. “I had a great day with you today, and thanks again for the things you bought me (this was a good lead-in she thought to bait her for a question to be soon asked), but I have a question, somehow I think you’re going to oversimplify the answer but I’ll ask it anyhow. How do you know if you’re in love with a person?” Surprisingly, Tasma answered Jill with foreknowledge, “You mean you are having a hard time trying to figure who you want, Tommy or Johnny?” (A tight look went over Jill’s face.) “Yes, yes, that is where I’m coming from; I didn’t know it was so obvious.” “It’s becoming obvious Jill, it was the first day Johnny came through the door, and it has progressively taken a greater shape to it. But in regards to your answer, I’ve never been in love so I might be the wrong person to ask, but I do know this, as simple as it may be: if I wanted to go out with Johnny, I couldn’t be in love with Tommy—that much. I mean, I’d think whoever you were in love with—you’d not want to go out with anyone else; you’d kind of want to stop shopping around for another person, or so I believe. If I was to get married, I’d not want to go out with anyone else: and if I did, I’d know that I was not ready for marriage, to him or anyone, if that makes any sense.” But to Jill it made all the sense in the world. She was sleeping with Tommy at night, and wanted to be with Johnny. “What do you think I should do?” asked Jill. “I think you already know; I don’t think I need to say anymore. My heart is with you, no matter what the outcome is.” Then Tasma hugged her tightly. 24 Reset As the next two weeks passed a kind of silence took over the house, people talked less to one another, I suppose you could say, Jill was the life of the house, and now she was deep in thought. Everyone tried to keep busy and pretend things were normal, but they of course knew they were not. The Belmont’s kept their normal schedule, and the pretense lingered. Tasma had finished up with Tommy’s book on San Francisco, and had explained to him how she liked the ending of ‘Bustling,’ by his fake name Colleen Grant; she commented to Tommy: “The younger woman fell in love with the older man, but she had psychological issues, and she was too fragile for him to care for her emotional illness, and he was too sick biologically for her to care for him. It was a sad ending I thought, but had they married: love would not have been enough, as they wished, they’d both had ruined the life of the other. Yet they remained friends as they parted, matter of fact they remained friends until he died at the age of eighty-years old, and her, at eighty-two.” She then read a poem she was working on for him: “I haven’t put it in my book or diary yet, but here it is I’ll read it to you from the paper (Tommy sat inquisitively on the edge of her bed): The Maiden from Seattle When she walked into the light The door to life, grew black as Night, And her earth began to swell (This youthful beauty of Seattle); At first glance— Fell this youth from high Aching to touch the morning sky. Who dare take this maiden’s hand? To help her though this silent land! Ah! From hair, to heart, to breast: Like faded flowers in the ground Fleshless alms, could not be found, And so she remains—bound! Said Tommy in surprise, “I like it, I think a little or maybe a lot of you is in the poem; I think you’re going to be a Mrs. Plath, or Dickinson some day.” —The following day Tommy had come into Tasma’s room unexpectantly, “Are you still writing your story?” he asked. She looked at Tommy, “Just some poems, and dairy notes, really haven’t gotten into the plot or theme of anything in particular yet; not sure how to get it going.” “Let me see, maybe I can help you” he said. Yet Tasma was still bewildered of his rudeness to just kind of enter at will; she liked him and didn’t want to scare him away, on the other hand, she was not going to join any love-circle. She leaped quickly to her pillow, then it dawned on her, she had much information in it about Johnny, Jill, Tommy and, none other but the: The Lady in Black, as she referred to her in the diary. But had she not jumped, she thought afterwards, had she not jumped she’d had not given away her hiding place, although it was no vault for sure—I mean, a mouse could have found it had it looked for it. “I, I have too many personal things in it, private things, I’d rather you not see,” said Tasma as she currently held the book in the middle of her chest; as she got off the bed with her one knee, fully turning about now, she tripped on her shoe and the book fell, Tommy quickly grabbed it and opened it. Tasma saw him reading it, and needed to do something quick, she grabbed it out of his hands and jumped on the bed, her dress flying above her waist showing her underwear and all. Somehow Tommy found the child in him, and jumped on her bed trying to grab the diary from her as they rolled around in the bed; now Tommy hovering over her, his legs between hers. “What are you two up to?” questioned a voice in the background, it was Jill: she had heard the ruckus. “My fault, I was trying to get her diary from her, I started to read something quite interesting,” he looked at Jill halfheartedly. Had he gone back any farther, thought Tasma: The Lady in Black was there. Jill looked at Tasma in an indefatigably way, “I see I wasn’t invited to the party—”and slipped off to her bedroom where she just looked out the window aimlessly. In a way it didn’t bother her about what she’d seen, but on the other hand, she was jealous. When Tommy left the bedroom to join Jill he didn’t know whose child it was; he had only read up to ‘I overheard her say to her mother she was pregnant today by….” He could not ask Tasma to betray Jill, it would be too much to ask, if anything, Jill might be betraying him, it was indicative of her. —In the following days, Tasma noticed Tommy and Jill fought quite a lot; and Tommy was not a person to be irritated easily, it must be that she was leading Tommy to believe it could be his child, Tasma thought. Then one evening she noticed Tommy sleeping on the coach, and Johnny still remaining in his bedroom. During this interval, Johnny entertained himself in his bedroom, hoping Tommy and Jill would sort things out—thus he remained in kind of a queue, waiting for Jill’s signal to return, somehow he had come to that conclusion she would. He found himself pacing the floor at night, saying, ‘I wish, whatsitsname, would…’ and never ended the sentence. —I must make this awkward at this point, his mind broke off the subject of Jill and Tommy after the first week, his insides became external. He looked at himself, pretending he was not feeling this serge; he had not guessed at this until it engulfed him, there was stern on his face—and, toil in his hand. A cold shower might work he thought, but it was too far away. He felt he was on a fast run; he hardened his body like a weightlifter, a boxer ready to take a punch. This lasted two weeks, finally an agreement came about, Jill would sleep with Johnny, and Tommy would sleep in Johnny’s room, and in due time Tommy would have to leave, approximately in a few months, considering once she started to show it would only provoke issues within the household, or so she felt. The real problem was that Johnny did not have the heart to tell Jill he liked the way things were, and he really liked Lorie to a higher degree. He wanted his sex, but could find it elsewhere if need be, now he’d have to resort to living in her bedroom, and his alone time would be altered. In addition, Lorie was somewhat out of the picture for he had not seen her in weeks as he waited for this all to settle, but he’d see her again is what he was planning. Again, everything seemed in the air now. But to resist the plan would be too premature at the moment he deliberated out. In spite of the tension, things appeared to move about on a regular base for a few more weeks. However, Johnny was starting to hang out with the gang more often now, with their motorcycles, and customized old cars. He was doing a lot more drinking and gambling with the gang members. They had even stopped on a few occasions at Jill’s house looking for Johnny, taking pains to find him, going out of their way it would seem. It came to her attention; Johnny owed them money, how much it wasn’t said (but it was close to $6,000-dollars). They’d not go to his work; it was one thing the groups forbid: that being, to endanger a man’s livelihood was not being a man at all. They could do almost anything else, even kill you, but not jeopardize your job: that was considered a low blow. Out of nervousness, Tasma started to keep her distance from the group at the bar, if she could, she would have vanished into thin air.