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Why is it that men cheat? Brad Pitt was married to the woman idolized as everyone’s best friend Jennifer Anniston and the next thing we know he’s coming out of a mud hut in Namibia carrying Angelina Jolie’s 2 children. Hugh Grant was with the most beautiful woman on earth Elizabeth Hurley and the next thing you know the police find him in the back seat of a Chevy with a hooker who looks like Marvin Hagler wearing a wig. Elizabeth Taylor has been cheated on by so many husbands that she needed the pain medication more for her depression than for her aching back. The classic example was Marilyn Monroe who was treated like Kleenex by more Presidents than George Bush. Why do so many Presidents have names that sound like female sexual organs? How many organ grinders does it take to change a monkey? It seems like having supernatural beauty, fame and success drives men to cheat. How could this be? Why are men running away from the women most desired by hordes of men? Barbara Holdmee works in the web cam business in Amsterdam. She nude video chats with strange men all day for $4.99 a minute. According to Barbara, “I used to be a high school English teacher. The hours were long and the pay was lousy. I learned that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and teenagers are from Uranus. But this web cam business has really opened my eyes. When you watch Tucker Carlson on television men seem so intelligent, so sophisticated. In the nude video chat sessions you get to see what men are really like. Before nude chat I seduce the men by chatting in a negligee. All day I listen to a constant stream of instant messages from men like “Show me your rear end, show me your boobs, oh BB you’re so hot, and Oh yeah BB. Why do men feel the need to put on this air of sophistication in public? Why can’t they be themselves in public? Why are married men spending an average of 7 minutes a day engaging in sexual relations with nude models over the internet? Who threw Natalie Wood to the sharks? Could the reason that men cheat simply be that in truth they are just wolves in sheep’s clothing, evil liars?” Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatry had a long term affair with his mother. He cheated on her with his sister. Dr. Freud divided the human brain into the ego and the id. There is so much id theft on the internet now that identity theft has become the leading industry in Africa. In the past week alone I have inherited over $356 million dollars from total strangers overseas. I have more parents and grandparents than the descendants of the Messiah. How are there so many paintings of the Messiah when the Gospels do not contain one single word of description of Jesus Christ? Which species was created by a Jewish born Rabbi whose best friend was a hooker? Had Jesus lived to be 85 the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would be decorated with paintings of a long bearded black hatted black coated Hasidic Rabbi Messiah and Christianity would never have gotten off the ground. Speaking of the Bible Eve has been smeared for 3,000 years for giving Adam the apple. This Bible story is symbolic. The one eyed snake who told her to do it was Adam’s phallus. The penis is the root of all evil. How else can you explain the level of promiscuity in Africa when the obvious cure for AIDS is monogamy? How else can you explain the male stampede for Viagra and Cialis when these drugs are known to cause blindness? Does everyone believe that they will die tomorrow and so there is no need to consider the consequences of their actions? Fortunately Merck has just invented a vaccine for cervical cancer and the human papiloma virus. Get down! Get down, get down, get down, get down, get down tonight baby! “Why dost thou seeketh to be that which thou are not?” Most men have a body, a mind and a soul. Lets look at the body first. A good example would be Michelangelo’s The David. Dr. Freud said that men have a sexual thought every 3 seconds. This would explain the Holy Trinity. With the constant production of semen going on in the testes and the male reproductive drive to keep our species going men are unto coitus machines careening out of control. Now let us look at the human mind. The id is the part of the brain that constantly wants food, sex, money etc. In the old days the strongest cave man just beat the object of his desire over the head with a wooden club and then dragged her into a cave and raped her before lighting up. There were no $200 dinners where the cave man pretended to like her. The reason that men cheat is the male ego. The male ego is the root of all evil. The male feeling of desire and lust and infatuation and desire to conquer the woman and the newness feels exactly like love only it is infinitely stronger. This is why prior to the conquest men whisper such endless baloney into our ears. “Oh my God you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life. I could care less about sex. I love you for your personality.” The micro second that the man ejaculates inside of you without a condom because his passion was so overwhelming and his promises that he was in perfect health were so convincing it’s all down hill even for the Holy Wood starlets. This is because the woman will never again be able to give the man the one thing he wants most in life – the conquest of her - the need in the male mind to say to himself and to his locker room buddies, “Yes, I nailed her!” Nailed? Every single woman that I know today is engaged in internet dating. If a woman has the slightest flaw, like no jaw for example, or God forbid a crooked nose, men have an endless supply of internet sites and internet women to replace her. The fantasy is better than the reality but the reality is worse than the phobia. Now let us examine the spiritual reasons that men cheat. According to the famed psychiatrist M. Scott Peck M.D. in his books “People of the Lie” and “Glimpses of the Devil”, in addition to the holy white angel spirit in every person all of our bodies are also containers for evil spirits that resemble the alien monster in the movie Independence Day. Inwardly we are all monsters who sacrificed our first born children alive by fire as the drummers beat their drums loudly to drown out the terrified screams of our burning babies which we sacrificed to the God Baal, Beelzebub, Satan on fire altars in Gehenna just south of Jerusalem for thousands of years up until 2,000 years ago on a planet 5 billion years old. Our ancestors were murderous freaks and we are their clones and this is the reason men cheat.