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The other day, my mother, who compulsively shops for anything you can think of, bought me a bag of sunflower seeds, as I went through a phase of eating them about a decade ago.
First of all, this was a completely redundant gesture, as they were just the seeds, and everyone knows that sunflowers seeds taste of absolutely nothing at all, and the only pleasure to be derived from them is cracking the zebra-coloured shell to extract them.
No good deed is without merit, however, and in eating them I did manage an idea, which, as those who know me will tell you, is a laborious and taxing process at best.
According to the packaging (which, perhaps naively, I find no reason to doubt) these sunflower seeds were bought in a branch of Boots and are part of a "meal deal."
Now who, exactly, aside from perhaps squirrels and other small fluffy mammals, would ever consider sunflower seeds a "meal" ? Granted, perhaps Boots receive a lot of custom from numerous pigeons and small tits, but this still doesn't explain how I ended up with them as my mother doesn't even HAVE small tits.
Sorry, I seem to have digressed and in doing so swerved perilously close to the territory of the "fat momma" joke, which I'll avoid.
Meanwhile, back on the subject at hand, why is Boots (are Boots? is Boots? I hate shops with no apostrophes) selling food in the first place?! If a butcher had a deal on moisturiser and sun-tan lotion, I think I personally would give it a miss, but somehow a shop that's know for medicines and cosmetics has started offering meals and none of us has batted an eyelid.
Food in general, now that I mention it, has been getting stranger, lately. McDonalds, in a frankly ludicrous attempt to improve it's image, has started offering salads as a direct result of Morgan Spurlock's "Super Size Me."
Something about this bothers me, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Kudos to Mr. Spurlock for shaking an empire to it's core, it's impressive by any standards and far more than the more high-profile Michael Moore has managed to do. (Although one does suspect Moore eats all his meals at McDonalds and just forgot to film it...)
McDonalds, though, is about grease. It's about grease, and junk, and things that will, probably, give you a McCoronary sometime before you make it back to your car A coronary which, by all accounts, you can make bigger and more life threatening for a bargain 30p.
McDonalds isn't SUPPOSED to offer good food. Everyone knows that McDonalds is bland and bad for you, in the same way we know that alcohol is bad for us and we'll all regret it in the morning. Several months ago I thought I'd have a go at a McDonalds chocolate donut, and it was f*cking horrible. I remember remarking to those around me in my witty, Wilde-esque style, "This is f*cking 'orrible."
Doesn't matter. I still have one whenever I go in, now, and they're still terrible.
My point is this: NOBODY goes to McDonalds for a salad. In fact, I wouldn't trust anyone who did. I think I'll add that to my list of character indicators. Never listen to anyone who doesn't like "Columbo", and never trust anyone who goes to McDonalds for a salad.
Salads go against the whole POINT of McDonalds, and I personally think that they should have more balls than to run for cover when their "secret" gets out. Tobacco companies have known for years that cigarettes kill you, as have the public, but they don't suddenly branch out and start a new line of Malboro Lollipops as a healthy alternative.
Another thing that's worried my lately, food-wise, is the reappearance of Pepperami. For those too young to remember, or those living in another country, Pepperami is best described as a stick of peppered meat in a wrapper.
I've always been bothered by them, principally because nobody has yet proved to my satisfaction that it isn't just the spiced penis of some unknown animal that the snack-hungry public has sent rocketing towards extinction, but over the years I sort of forgot about them. Now, all signs (TV adverts, posters, the Beast running loose in the streets of Bethlehem) point to it coming back. We should be on our guard.
Now, some people may level the fair and accurate criticism at me that everything I write has no real structure; that I'm prone to going off on tangents and that I always end abruptly and inconclusively. This is true.
To these people, however, I say that if you can find another article on the web that goes from Sunflower seeds to animal penis by way of a chocolate donut, then good luck to you!
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You can throw out most of the management ideas you find in colleges, graduate schools, company training programs, and the like if you’ll do just one, incredibly simple thing:
PAY YOUR PEOPLE EXCEPTIONALLY WELL.
Management advocates have it backwards, you see.
Their pet saying is that the art of management is getting average people to perform exceptionally well.
What they leave off is a small tag line. Let me provide you with the entire phrase:
“The art of management is getting average people to perform exceptionally well, without paying them anything extra for their productivity.”
That’s truly the tacit definition of a good manager, and most of the industrial psychology, job engineering, and yes, management consulting during the past 80 years has been dedicated to this goal.
“Make us more money without making us spend more money.”
But, alas, human nature and life itself don’t work that way—for long, or without unleashing counter-forces such as unions, restrictive legislation, workers compensation claims, and lawsuits.
Somehow, business owners think it’s “cheating” or “dumb” or self-defeating to pay people exceptionally well. They’d prefer to be clever, to invest in labor saving technologies, to cut out the human touch everywhere they can, instead of handing over living, and indeed, prospering wages.
But recall, if you will, that practical experiment undertaken by Henry Ford, by no means a soft touch.
Ford invented the “$5 Day.”
To attract and recruit the very best laborers in America to work on his modern assembly lines he offered that astonishingly high wage. From what I understand, this more than doubled the prevailing rates.
People thought Ford was crazy, and I’m sure he was vilified by his fellow captains of industry.
But his move paid off. He did get the best available people to work for him, and together, they made very, very good money.
From time to time there have been companies that have raised pay substantially, through salaries, profit-sharing, stock options, attractive retirement packages, and the like. And quite often, they’ve reaped a reward from their employees, by way of output and loyalty.
But nothing is as direct or as motivating as more money in that pay envelope.
Most of the silly stuff you hear about today, such as RESISTANCE TO CHANGE is easily overcome when we align people’s interests and commit to sharing the goodies, all around.
Workers that are accused of being change-haters suspect, or actually know, that the “new and improved” work processes that are often mandated by management result in money being removed from their pockets, through downsizing, job enlargement, team-building, and other devices.
Are you going to willingly support something that will make you work harder, longer, and for less?
“How can we pay people MORE?” should be the question.
Answer that, and people will manage themselves and their peers, because they’ll be only too happy to keep a good thing going!
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Flowers are the Natural beauties sent as a Gift by Nature to the World. They add fragrance, briiliance and beauty to the surroundings. The History of the Flowers in this Earth must go to the day when the Plants emerged in the World.
Scientific research have shown that the Plants are in this World for the past more than 425 Million years and they have developed from their primituve form of Spores. The seeds for the Plants came in the primitve form as spores the small copies of themselves that can grow in other places. The Plants began to develop protection for the spores and thus came the seeds and there came into being the assured way of propagation and systematic reproduction by following regular Life cycles.
The Flowers must have appeared during this stage and the earliest fossil proof of actual Flowers appears only 130 million years ago. But we do not have clear proof of how and when the Flowers developed for the first time as the fossil desposits do not give enough proof in this direction. The father of the theory of Evolution Charles Darwin himself is persplexed over this issue and calls this an abominal Mystery.
It is generally assumed that the function of Flowers, from the start, was to involve other Animals in the reproduction process. Pollen should be taken to other places and for this the assistance of other living beings are necessary and it may not be possible without giving any other benefit. The Plants in some Islands developed sudden, fully developed appearance of Flowers and used them to develop a highly specialized relationship with some specific Animals and Birds. This type of specialized relationship with another Animal bearing pollen from one plant to another has resulted in both the plant(s) and their partners developing a high degree of specialization.
Likewise, the next stage of the Flower the Fruits are used in plant reproduction that comes from the enlargement of parts of the Flower itself and is a tool which depends upon animals wishing to eat it, and thus scattering the seeds it contains. The hard proof as to the existence of Flowers about 130 million years ago, is available though circumstantial evidence we know that they did exist up to 250 million years ago.
Flowers are genetically just an adaptation of normal Leaf and stem components on Plants, and the most primitive Flowers are thought to have both Male and Female parts on the same flower and to be dominated by the Female part. In later stages of evolution, Flowers grew more advanced, some, with a much more specific number and design, and with either specific sexes per Flower or plant.
We see that Flower evolution continues even today; that the Modern Flowers have been influenced by humans to such a degree that many of them cannot be pollinated in Nature.
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A couple with no specific physical abnormalities, that do everything right to conceive for a reasonable length of time without a positive result, can be considered to have a fertility problem.
Many couples affected by infertility spend months or years of treatment for fertility problems without a positive outcome.
Natural herbal remedies have come a long way since their ancient origins, and are making new strides every day, with remedies to increase fertility and enhance functioning of the male and female reproductive systems.
Herbal remedies use botanicals (plants) either singularly or in compounds, and sometimes animal by-products to prevent and correct targeted conditions.
Many new natural herbal products have been compounded to remedy infertility for example for:
Females to:
*Promote regular ovulation
*Correct hormone imbalances
*Regulate menstrual cycles
*Increase libido
Males to:
*Improve the functioning of the (prostate, seminal vesicles, testes, and penis)
*Increase, testosterone levels, sperm production and, motility
*Enhance sex drive, and strengthen erections
Stress, poor nutrition, bad habits such as smoking, over use of alcohol, and drug abuse, emotional and psychological problems, a number of prescription medicines, can all adversely affect fertility, and may require some lifestyle changes.
Natural remedies optimize reproductive health without adding to the risks of multiple births, and many other problems of other approaches to overcoming infertility problems.
A natural herbal remedy could be the answer to your problem.
The FDA does not regulate the manufacturing of herbs, common sense and a little research can help assure that you are buying a quality product. Check the name of the manufacturer or distributor, and the facts label for, amount, daily usage values, and active ingredients.
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Looking for someone else? One of the biggest complaints I hear from women is that their partner, boyfriend, husband, whatever bought them the biggest vibrator or dildo that they had ever seen. And while the common thought is that bigger is better, this isn’t always the case for every woman.
Some women aren’t designed for that kind of load capacity, so you’re going to need to think a little more compact, perhaps. Shoving something big into something that is small isn’t pleasurable in the least bit. And the sad part is that a lot of the women won’t even say anything because they don’t want to offend your choice. Why make these poor ladies suffer? Be sensible about size unless you know she can take it! For some os us, bigger is indeed better... Look at yourself. Yes, unzip your pants and look at what your woman is already accustomed to feeling inside her. Be honest, this isn’t the time to start bragging about the size, length, whatever, no one is looking but you. That’s the size that you want to choose for a vibrator for your woman. Slightly bigger is okay too, but don’t go for the foot in diameter version. Her eyes may widen when she sees it, but that’s in fear, not anticipation. Looking for yourself?
A penis pump can be a great way to stimulate yourself when you’re flying solo for a while, but you have to give this purchase a little thought as well. A lot of these pumps are not designed for all sizes of men. You want to read the package carefully to see what the design is. Sometimes there is a cup at the end of the penis pump that will catch your juices as well as stimulate the tip of the penis. Be a little wary of the texture that a pump has - it can be irritating if the material sticks to places where it just shouldn’t stick. So use LOTS of lube! Does that still seem stimulating? The lashings of lube sensation can be very different if you haven’t tried it… If you’re here online, you’ll want to read the reviews on the site. These folks aren’t paid to give their opinions, so you’re sure to read the truth. And if you’re still not sure about the product, ask!
The touch, the feel of vibrators
When it comes to vibrators, the material can make all of the difference. It can be smooth or textured in the same way as a real penis. There are also others that come with special textures and grooves for her ultimate pleasure. These are supposed to hit the g-spot and though each woman is different, they can help in other ways. If you end up buying a vibrator, a little lube can help here as well.
The extras that matter
Oh, and I almost forgot— why not find a vibrator that’s waterproof and has a lot of speed settings. Waterproof comes in handy because it can be used in pools and bathtubs. And who wouldn’t like a little pick me up in the morning shower? Or for the ultimate private experience, use the (waterproof models only!) vibrator in the tub—it’s ultra quiet and discreet. Speed settings help to control the pleasure of the experience, plus the vibrator can then be used on the clitoris as well. With a little lube and a good vibrator, the woman can feel waves of orgasms—repeated over and over. Yes, multiple orgasms are possible—especially with a good vibrator. And when the man has picked out a great vibrator for himself or for his partner, they’re going to be thanked in very special ways.
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